The problem that arises frequently in my life is the plan that I have in my mind for something and what happens when things don't go that way. This causes drama in my life because it sets those around me up for failure. This week we had family pictures, which I love! I love getting pictures taken of my family, it makes me so happy. I began a few days before hand picking out our perfect outfits and making plans to get everyone there in their prefect outfits to take the perfect pictures. I created the perfect storm, I set myself and everyone else up for failure in this plan. I picked the babies up from daycare, Cole had just eaten meaning he would be hungry during picture taking. I rolled with it though. I had packed the clothes for the babies and we went to a local pizza place for an event for Cohen's school. I had a plan though, we were good. As Dylan ate he got pizza from head to toe. It was ok, I had a plan. We threw everyone into the car and headed to meet a friend at the Pumpkin Patch, for the most precious Fall pictures ever! The perfect storm. We arrived late, I quickly had to dress the babies in their perfect outfits. Cole had pooped of course, it was ok I had a plan. Babies in adorable outfits, we were ready. We got not even 2 pictures in and Dylan began having a melt down. This melt down continued over the next hour. All he wanted to do was play, play on the tractor, ride the train, slide down the slides. There was no happy faces for my perfect pictures, there was no perfection. Only stark reality. I had set myself and my sweet little family up for failure. What was I thinking! Pictures on a Wednesday night at the Pumpkin Patch, it was as if I was a brand new parent and didn't know any better. I had these great expectations of my family that were too high. As we left the patch, tail between legs, hoping that we would at least get one good picture out of our session fee; I wondered to myself "When will I stop doing this?" It is so often that we do this and honestly I feel like as women we do this more than men. We do it in our relationships, pre-marriage. We do it in wedding planning. We do it in pregnancy and the first year of infancy. And so on. We continue to set these great expectations of how we think something should be and will be, putting pieces in place that set ourselves and loved ones up for failure. Our husband plans a nice night out but we can't see past the thought that he didn't gush over how pretty we looked and the thunder begins. Our child is clinging to our leg while we cook everyday saying the same thing over and over, all we can focus on is this meal we have planned that's not working out. Not seeing for weeks that he has been saying I love you everyday and we were missing it. What are you missing out on in your great expectation of yourself and those around you? There's a great story in the Bible that parallels this thought:
Luke 10:38-42
New International Version (NIV)
At the Home of Martha and Mary
38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”
41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
How often does this happen to us? Running around, created the perfect everything and ended up missing out on the joy! Ugh, so guilty of this. The only great expectation we should have is the one that the Lord puts in us.
Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
He has plans, he has the knowledge and the expectations that within his righteousness he will allow us to do great things. Friends, stop it. Stop with the great expectations. Stop missing out on the joy afforded us in his perfect plan by focusing on the disappointment of our un-reasonable thought life. Revel in his beauty. Hear the words I love you. Appreciate the night out when it's given. Have fun playing instead of posing. Expect greatness from the joy of the unplanned.
Sending you all my love this weekend as you venture into a new mindset of less expectations more JOY in the here and now. If you do not know about God's great love and passion for his people please ask me more! Because in his great plan, goodness and righteousness we are Beautifully and Wonderfully Made!
Much Love,
Chrystan
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