Thursday, February 4, 2016


Anticipation, it's a whole thing.
It's expectation.
It's waiting.

The actual definition of Anticipation is a feeling of excitement about something that is going to happen.  One may anticipate their wedding day or the day they graduate. I would definitely say that we anticipate the arrival of a new baby and would even go as far to say we anticipate the day that baby says Momma for the very first time.  We anticipate love.  It is almost a sense of looking forward to. To wait in great expectation.
Great expectation.

Right now I am sitting here a day away from the realization of a dream. I am packing my bags and heading to Austin, TX (You know my love for Texas!) To take part in the women's event that changed the dynamic of my relationship with God forever.  Two years ago this event set me on a path that is moving full steam ahead in the direction of Heaven.  I am off to Austin with 2 of my dearest friends, on an adventure that I dare say will be full of joy, laughter, tears and forever memories.  Great expectation! The anticipation is almost killing me over here.

One thing I want to blow your mind with today, is that there is one who waits with bated breath and great anticipation for your arrival in his courts.  This past year I worked through the Children of the Day study by Beth Moore (life changing Bible study I HIGHLY recommend)  In her live teaching portion she set my mind to explode when she pointed out "Time is not running out to God, time is running up. It is running up to the time when he is reunited with his children"  I mean can you even imagine?  This takes my breath away.  The God of the universe. The God that created the air you breathe, the sun that rises and sets, the world...all the things...he waits in anticipation for you.  He counts up till the time you return to him.

The clock is ticking.  I am anticipating my event in Austin, but most of all I am anticipating God's work in my life through this experience.  I cannot wait. I also cannot help but think God is more excited and waits more expectantly, staring at the gates of Heaven waiting to be reunited with his sons and daughters.  I eagerly anticipate that also, for so many reasons.

Psalm 84: My Soul Longs for the Courts of the LORD
How lovely is your dwelling place or LORD of hosts
My soul longs, yes, faints for the courts of the LORD
My heart and flesh sing joy for the living GOD!

What are you waiting in anticipation for? Do you feel like your life is in forward motion or is it stagnate today?  One final thought, the other definition for Anticipation is the act of preparing for something.  Are you only preparing for things of this world?  If so you may be missing out greatly on the love of a Father who eagerly awaits your return to him.  Seek him sweet girl, he awaits your arrival with open arms, abundant grace and love overflowing.  After-all, you are his BEAUTIFULLY FEARFULLY WONDERFULLY made creation.

Much Love,

Wednesday, January 6, 2016


It is officially winter on Ferrell Farms.  The sky is deary, the days are short, it's cold and there is snow.  Let me peel back a layer of myself and tell you I despise winter.  It is just all the things.  I don't like being cold, I can't drive in winter weather due to a car vs black ice situation that could have ended my life and I have seasonal depression so there's that. WINTER, yuck.  However, I have seen some beautiful things around me this winter that called me outside with the little's this weekend.

There was white snow on the ground around the farm this week and it has been so pretty to look at.  Except that under snow there was mud.  Nasty, dirty icky mud.  The ground was so saturated that my boots were sinking down into the mud.  Which left the snow dirty and my boots (and little boys) filthy.

The last few years I have been all in and committed to transparency.  I don't want any woman to begin talking to me, hear me speak or read my blog and think she just has it all together. I always want you to be reminded that I am a hot mess.  There is no perfection in the lines of these words.  I am 100% washed in the grace and blood of Jesus and that is the only way this hot mess steps one foot in front of the other most days.  So, I have a group of women (my prayer group that is now a part of the Imperfectly Brave movement, you can join in too!) that I am nothing but 100% real with.  This week they literally heard me talk about how I have felt so out of sync with God these last two weeks.  I told them all the yucky places while they all sat around my farmhouse table and nodded their heads.  Their pointing fingers were down, they were judgement free and they let me say all the things.  Then they prayed with me. I cry with them I laugh with them and we are so real.  From that group I have realized we just need to be so very real with each other. If we walk in perfection, there is no room for Jesus.  If I act like I've got this all under control then I can't show you that it is only through Christ that I am even keeping my head a float.

Under the snow, was the mud.  But the mud reminded me that there is life, real true growing life under there.  Snow is the precipitation that keeps our ground watered and prepared for the planting and the harvest.  The mud holds that all together till the harvest comes.  There is beauty in each role, the snow, the mud, the yucky of it all holds a beautiful picture in the end.  I want to present Jesus in a good light, I want to be washed white and I am, but then I get muddy again and there is grace.  Wash, rinse and repeat.  Perfection only takes away from the beauty of grace, and ladies grace is where it's at.  May I always be reminded of the hot mess that Jesus loves so fiercely he gave his life away for all the mess to be washed in the blood and remade into a beautiful daughter of the most high King.

I took my eyes off the prize last week and in my transparency I found it all again. In my weakness he stayed strong, sought me out and brought me back. It's not different for you sweet girl.  You can be real, there are people out there that need you to show the imperfection to see the work that the Lord has done and is doing.  May we all find grace in the muddy places, for the harvest will be plentiful.

Much Love,

Thursday, December 31, 2015

New Year New You: The Truth Behind Change

In Christ you are a new creation, the old has gone the new has come~ 2 Corinthians 5:17

Last year I made a decision.  I got tired of being sick and tired, literally.  I committed to change.  I've dieted many many times in my life. I've starved myself, obsessed over working out and beat myself up over every cookie, every french fry.  I've spent many years of my life on the body image roller coaster.  Putting much of my value and worth in the numbers on the scale.  So much of my life I valued what others saw as beautiful more than my heavenly Father. Change seemed impossible.

 Last year it was different.  I spent over a year feeling physically crappy, overweight, depressed and lacking in joy.As I began to review what in the world was going on I prayerfully met the idea of change.  That's the thing about change, it's now seemingly impossible to me without Christ's backing.  As humans our nature is set in such a way, because of free will, that change is very hard.  Our selfish nature, pride and willfulness gets in the way of change.  We want so badly to be more organized, have better will power, stay the course, beat the addiction, yet so many times when the rubber meets the road we find ourselves at the end of the year 10 lbs heavier and no better than how we ended last year.  So, I get it.  I get that we may all have the desire for the completion of a resolution and beat ourselves up at the end of yet another year where we failed again.

The difference in this change for me was that instead of journeying out into the big thing alone, I invited God to go with me.  I sought his desire for this part of my life instead of my own.  This changed my perspective. Instead of change being about what size pants I wore or getting a medal in the 1/2 marathon I wanted to run it became more about honoring God with my life and the way I lived it.

Enough about me.  May I encourage you to invite God into these places of your life that you are wanting change in but can't figure out why every year it's the same.  Here's some things you may be holding onto tightly:

Your single life
Your marriage
Problems at work
Weight loss
Sex addiction
Food addiction
Past hurts
Drug addiction
Alcohol abuse
Material possessions
Your children
Your home
A health issue
Social media addiction

How do you invite him in to these places? Pray.  Invite him to intercede in your life, to be the guide in your journey. So often we step out, ahead of him and expect him to work it all out. Oh sweet sister it doesn't work that way. God must be the leader in your dance, he is not in the business of following.
30 lbs lighter, free of daily depression, free of illness and joint pain I literally stand before you changed both physically and spiritually.  I invited God into that change, and he was the author of this story.

Who will write the pages of your book this year?

Can I suggest on anthem for 2016:

Much Love,