Do these things we dream of, do these gifts we long to share, these goals we've set and these things we chase after have a shelf life? If not what's stopping us?
For days I've sat at my desk staring at my dream guide and my purpose sheet trying to put into words what's in my heart. Writing them down seemed impossible and I couldn't figure out why, until today. It all boils down to fear. Fear. What an ugly word. I've boiled my fear down to two main things:
I'm afraid I'm not good enough to bring it all to fruition. I'm afraid I will let those in my corner down or those out of my corner will be proved right. I'm afraid I really can't do it.
I'm afraid you think I'm too old. I'm afraid you will think I just like the next new thing. I'm afraid that you think I'm crazy. I'm afraid that you think I think I'm pretty awesome. I'm afraid you won't be safe with my dream. I'm afraid I won't live up to your standards. I'm afraid I don't fit your mold. I'm afraid when I chase these dreams I will let you down. I'm afraid I'm not enough.
Today I wrote them all down. All of the outlandish things that God has laid on my heart, maybe even since I was a little girl. All these dreams that I may fail at all these goals that you may say I could never achieve. The things I may be too old for or not good enough for, those things...I wrote it all down.
You see, I was afraid to write them down because I didn't think I was enough. But I realized today that I'm right, I am not enough and that right there will set you FREE. These things God is calling me to, I can't do them...
I can't make them happen
I can't work hard enough
I can't be all the things necessary to make them happen
That's the beauty of these crazy dreams God gave me. I'm not enough, but he is. I am dreaming dreams that make me so uncomfortable. They call me out on the waters where there is no life boat in a storm that I cannot tame, this year these dreams of mine are so big and so bold only God could make them happen. Those dreams, those are the best ones to have. I am learning if we are not stepping out in such bold ways that we are scared, with knees knocking so much so that we have to lean on him to stand up, then girls we aren't dreaming with the knowledge that our God is mighty. Our God is Uncontainable. Our God makes blind men see and raises the dead. He made mountains and moved them around to create the earth. He is mighty! Sweet sister he is big enough to accomplish whatever he is calling you to without you, but he loves you so much he invites you to do it with him. Stop limiting him and start dreaming with him.
Whatever it is, it's not bigger than the God calling you to it. But you must invite him into your life. You must. You cannot go forward without him, he must be a part of this plan. So today, I wrote them all down and I prayed. I prayed that I would honor him with these dreams. I prayed that I would not go before him. I prayed that I would be diligent in my ways to seek the kingdom with these gifts.
Today I pray that whatever it is that seems so huge that God is calling you to do that you will ask him to lead the way. Whatever it is. Maybe it's going back to school, maybe its seminary, maybe it's a total career change, maybe it's staying home and homeschooling. Whatever that BIG scary thing is, I pray you will seek God with it. That you will do it with him. I am praying that you are brave enough to step out and do really big uncomfortable things for the glory of God. I pray that for myself.
He made us, he pursues us, he longs to give us the desires of our hearts, you dear girl are FEARFULLY & WONDERFULLY made in his loving image. He can and will do immeasurably more than you can ever imagine.
Go with God this year. Write those dreams down and chase after them with a HOLY passion! I'm right here with you, shaking in my cowgirl boots!
PS- Want more on CALLING? Join us over at Imperfectly Brave this year as we study CALLING! Register for this free program HERE.