Find Your Tribe

This past week I celebrated 35 years of life.  My people rallied and gave me a great week with cards, gifts, notes and acts of kindness.  My husband sent me out of town with my some dear friends and we had a weekend away that included a lot of laughter, a Branson Christmas Variety show, shopping, Christmas lights, chips and queso and lots of girl talk.  It made me so thankful for my TRIBE. Let me tell you about my people.

Years ago I prayed.  I prayed for God to send me authentic women.  I longed for deep friendships in my local community.  I have lots of friends spread out all over the country (and world) and I cherish them dearly.  What I was longing for was people here where I live, to do life together.  A connection deeper than the glaze over of "how are you" "I'm fine".  Though I was surrounded by people all the time, I still felt lonely. So I prayed.

Then came one friend. Then came two. Then three. Today I can say I have a tribe of women who are fierce for me.

Through what I will call tribal living I have seen change in my life.  I have been and am being refined. I have been cared for and comforted. I have learned more, I have lingered longer.  My walk with God has been so sweet and so good. I have leaned in to prayer and study more than ever.  These women, this tribe, they have set me free from perfection and performance. They meet me where I am and lift me up when I need lifted.  God has used these authentic relationships to reveal pieces of me that need mending, shaping and refinement.  God has shown me his grace, love and provision through these women.  He has taught me how to love outside my comfort zone and how to say I'm sorry even when it was really hard to do.

My willingness to open myself up to authenticity has allowed for some of the best years in my life.  Not because they have been free from hurts, difficulties and trials.  Definitely not!  These last few years have been trial, after trial, after trial.  God provided helpmates for me, to be real with, to hold fast to truth with, to hold me accountable and encourage me to seek first the kingdom for all things.  Not to seek them, but to seek the kingdom.

Tribal living has become life for us.  We do life together.  We feed each other when life gets crazy. We unpack boxes for each other. We take each others kids when we need date nights.  We break bread and drink wine around tables in our homes.  We hug and we cry.  We worship and we pray.  We are fierce for each other and do life together in abundant grace not in judgment.

We also open ourselves up to be the tribe for others.  Beth Moore reminded us in one of her studies that you can't be turned inward with your people all the time, we must not be shut off to the other people out there.  So, we turn outward, we care for others, we bring others in and teach them how to be authentic.  We cannot be an elite club of women, we have to be inclusive, as women we should always be working on this.

This weekend and recently, my eyes have been opened to see that this is the exception not the rule. It seems that women think that they have to have it all together. It seems that we have a hard time being friends with each other. It seems to be that we would rather compete than cheer-lead.  Ladies, there is enough for everyone. There is also enough competition out there in the world, let's not compete with each other.  Let's hold each other up to success.  Let's choose authenticity over fake. Living authentically with each other, doing life together, cheering each other on and offering one another all the grace. This is where it's at girls.  I promise once you break down those walls you will never want to build them up again, not ever.

May I encourage you right where you are to begin praying for authentic relationships with other women. To break down walls with each other and do life together.  It may hurt sometimes. It may not be easy.  You may not always agree.  But if you fight for it it will become some of the most beautiful things about your life here on earth.  Community, unity and tribal living has offered some of the best moments of my life.  I pray that you will find the same.  I have so much more to say on this topic, maybe a study of community will be in order here. Until then, who can you build an authentic relationship with in the new year. How can you break down the walls and reveal true pieces of yourself to help another woman struggling? Maybe it's as simple as asking someone to coffee and truly getting to know here or maybe it's taking a leap of faith and starting a prayer group. I can't wait to hear how this changes your life!  Keep me updated!!!!

You are worthy of really good people in your life, who see you as a woman who is fearfully and wonderfully made in His beautiful image.

Much Love,
Chrystan

PS- Pray hard ladies, you will have to fight for this at every turn because UNITY in women is so very glorifying to God and feels impossible at times!  Pray harder, fight for each other it is worth it! I promise...
PPS- please share this, like this, subscribe and let's be in a tribe together!

The Story of Ruth: Chapter 1 Your Tribe

Let's face it family can be complicated.  Mostly made up of a group of people randomly thrown together through marriage and the unlikely combination of DNA and genes that intertwine them.  Family, it's a whole thing right?  My family has some very interesting dynamics.  I have the Fuller side who are pretty much all extroverted (except my step-mom bless her heart she's stuck with all of us) and some of whom are extroverted introverts which is like a real thing and very complicated. The Fuller side brought me to Jesus.  Then I have the Foster side, which is my mom's side.  We are all pretty much sassy in our own right over on the Foster fence.  Full of strong, fierce women, the Foster side has fought hard to get their family where it is today.  They have taught me how to be strong, stand up and stand in for my family.  The Foster side also brings in my Grandaddy who passed away this year.  He was one of my favorite people.  The Foster side taught me that family is a person who walks in the front door.  There are no thick blood lines there are no walls up, just a welcome hug and sweet tea in your hand.  This is why I would say that my family has become more of a tribe than a family.  We are missed matched, some are here by marriage, some are here because they don't have a family so they have ours, some are here through a series of strange happenings that I don't even know the details to but I still call them aunts, uncles or grannies.  The Ferrell's bring a beautiful dynamic of a more quiet, serving support which has taught me so much. I wouldn't have my family any other way.

This is where we find Ruth in the Old Testament of the Bible as we launch into our 2 week study of our sister Ruth (take a minute to read Ruth Chapter 1). A brief intro of Ruth will tell us that she basically enters the story a destitute widow of the wrong kind of people. Ruth was a Moabite and had married outside of her tribe.  When we meet her we are walking into her tragedy immediately.  She has lost her father in law, brother in law and husband one right after the other.  Leaving the women with no men, which back in these days was a really big deal.  Through this tragedy we meet Ruth's mother in law, Naomi.  Naomi really has taken the hardest blow here. She has basically had to walk through the death of her entire family at this point. Shes in a foreign country with two sad, scared little girls Ruth and Orpah.  This is where we see Ruth make family her tribe.  In verses 10-14 we hear Naomi telling the girls she basically has nothing to offer them and she urges them to go back to their people.  Which really would leave Naomi completely alone, but she is wanting the best for them. Right here is where we find some of the most beautiful verses in the Old Testament (personal opinion)

16 But Ruth replied, "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go and where you stay I will stay.  Your people will be my people and your God my God.  Where you die I will die and there I will be buried.  May the Lord deal with me, be it ever so severely, if even death separates you and me"

She is pledging her life to Naomi no matter what that means to her!  In our society mother in laws get such a bad wrap.  Ladies, I love my mother in law. Linda Ferrell is the kindest most loving woman.  I am so blessed and happy to be in her tribe. Here we see, Ruth pledging to leave all opportunity to re-marry and to have safety and provision in order to stay with Naomi.  We also just saw a HUGE thing happen to Ruth.  She pledges her life to God, even though she doesn't know yet exactly what that means at this time. When she pledges her life to Naomi she also chooses to follow her God, which just so happens to be the God of the Universe. Coincidence, I think not.  This decision will not only change Ruth's life on Earth for the better, which we will see play out through the next few chapters, but her name ends up in the lineage of Jesus and she gets to spend eternity in Heaven. Huge decision here for her.

Family, it's a whole thing right?  I didn't get to talk about the Jacobs side of my family.  Grandma Nancy is my sons grandma.  She loves him with the fire of a thousand suns, rightfully so, he is her grandson. The flip side of that coin is she loves me and my boys and my husband.  She treats us as her family and she doesn't have to.  She gives my kids baths, she buys us Christmas presents, she feeds us and sometimes we stay at her house and her at ours. She is in our tribe by choice.

You see family is who you fight for. It's who you stick with.  Naomi and Ruth maybe didn't see eye to eye on all the things.  They probably voted for different presidents in the last election.  Naomi likely wanted Ruth to have some babies, maybe that was sore spot. However, here in just the first chapter we see them choose each other no matter what.  They became for each other and because of that love relationship God was glorified and their lives were blessed.

What's your tribe look like?  Are you harboring bad feelings for your mother-in-law or that brother that stepped on your toes the last family gathering?  Let's decide that we are going to fight for the family unit again.  Let's fight for our tribes and stop letting the world break them apart over silly things like who makes the jello mold this year at Thanksgiving. Satan hates family. He was to destroy it.  Lets shout out loud, where you go I will go, your people will be my people. Love on your mother in law today and that tricky brother. Grow your tribe in love!

Today is a beautiful day for restoration, go restore those hurts so you can walk together down the road to the next chapter, BEAUTIFULLY MADE and all!

Much Love,
Chrystan

See you in a few days for Ruth Chapter 2, where we meet Ruth's new man!!!