The Dream Thief

(Unsplash:Steve Halama)

Dreams.
Goals.
Passions.

Do these things we dream of, do these gifts we long to share, these goals we've set and these things we chase after have a shelf life? If not what's stopping us?

For days I've sat at my desk staring at my dream guide and my purpose sheet trying to put into words what's in my heart.  Writing them down seemed impossible and I couldn't figure out why, until today. It all boils down to fear.  Fear. What an ugly word.  I've boiled my fear down to two main things:

Failure
I'm afraid I'm not good enough to bring it all to fruition.  I'm afraid I will let those in my corner down or those out of my corner will be proved right. I'm afraid I really can't do it.

You
I'm afraid you think I'm too old. I'm afraid you will think I just like the next new thing. I'm afraid that you think I'm crazy. I'm afraid that you think I think I'm pretty awesome. I'm afraid you won't be safe with my dream. I'm afraid I won't live up to your standards. I'm afraid I don't fit your mold. I'm afraid when I chase these dreams I will let you down. I'm afraid I'm not enough.

Today I wrote them all down. All of the outlandish things that God has laid on my heart, maybe even since I was a little girl.  All these dreams that I may fail at all these goals that you may say I could never achieve. The things I may be too old for or not good enough for, those things...I wrote it all down.

You see, I was afraid to write them down because I didn't think I was enough. But I realized today that I'm right, I am not enough and that right there will set you FREE.  These things God is calling me to, I can't do them...
I can't make them happen
I can't work hard enough
I can't be all the things necessary to make them happen

That's the beauty of these crazy dreams God gave me.  I'm not enough, but he is.  I am dreaming dreams that make me so uncomfortable. They call me out on the waters where there is no life boat in a storm that I cannot tame, this year these dreams of mine are so big and so bold only God could make them happen.  Those dreams, those are the best ones to have. I am learning if we are not stepping out in such bold ways that we are scared, with knees knocking so much so that we have to lean on him to stand up, then girls we aren't dreaming with the knowledge that our God is mighty. Our God is Uncontainable. Our God makes blind men see and raises the dead. He made mountains and moved them around to create the earth.  He is mighty! Sweet sister he is big enough to accomplish whatever he is calling you to without you, but he loves you so much he invites you to do it with him. Stop limiting him and start dreaming with him.

Whatever it is, it's not bigger than the God calling you to it. But you must invite him into your life.  You must.  You cannot go forward without him, he must be a part of this plan. So today, I wrote them all down and I prayed. I prayed that I would honor him with these dreams. I prayed that I would not go before him. I prayed that I would be diligent in my ways to seek the kingdom with these gifts.

Today I pray that whatever it is that seems so huge that God is calling you to do that you will ask him to lead the way.  Whatever it is. Maybe it's going back to school, maybe its seminary, maybe it's a total career change, maybe it's staying home and homeschooling. Whatever that BIG scary thing is, I pray you will seek God with it.  That you will do it with him.  I am praying that you are brave enough to step out and do really big uncomfortable things for the glory of God.  I pray that for myself.

He made us, he pursues us, he longs to give us the desires of our hearts, you dear girl are FEARFULLY & WONDERFULLY made in his loving image. He can and will do immeasurably more than you can ever imagine.

Go with God this year.  Write those dreams down and chase after them with a HOLY passion! I'm right here with you, shaking in my cowgirl boots!

Much Love,
Chrystan

PS- Want more on CALLING?  Join us over at Imperfectly Brave this year as we study CALLING!  Register for this free program HERE.

Find Your Tribe

This past week I celebrated 35 years of life.  My people rallied and gave me a great week with cards, gifts, notes and acts of kindness.  My husband sent me out of town with my some dear friends and we had a weekend away that included a lot of laughter, a Branson Christmas Variety show, shopping, Christmas lights, chips and queso and lots of girl talk.  It made me so thankful for my TRIBE. Let me tell you about my people.

Years ago I prayed.  I prayed for God to send me authentic women.  I longed for deep friendships in my local community.  I have lots of friends spread out all over the country (and world) and I cherish them dearly.  What I was longing for was people here where I live, to do life together.  A connection deeper than the glaze over of "how are you" "I'm fine".  Though I was surrounded by people all the time, I still felt lonely. So I prayed.

Then came one friend. Then came two. Then three. Today I can say I have a tribe of women who are fierce for me.

Through what I will call tribal living I have seen change in my life.  I have been and am being refined. I have been cared for and comforted. I have learned more, I have lingered longer.  My walk with God has been so sweet and so good. I have leaned in to prayer and study more than ever.  These women, this tribe, they have set me free from perfection and performance. They meet me where I am and lift me up when I need lifted.  God has used these authentic relationships to reveal pieces of me that need mending, shaping and refinement.  God has shown me his grace, love and provision through these women.  He has taught me how to love outside my comfort zone and how to say I'm sorry even when it was really hard to do.

My willingness to open myself up to authenticity has allowed for some of the best years in my life.  Not because they have been free from hurts, difficulties and trials.  Definitely not!  These last few years have been trial, after trial, after trial.  God provided helpmates for me, to be real with, to hold fast to truth with, to hold me accountable and encourage me to seek first the kingdom for all things.  Not to seek them, but to seek the kingdom.

Tribal living has become life for us.  We do life together.  We feed each other when life gets crazy. We unpack boxes for each other. We take each others kids when we need date nights.  We break bread and drink wine around tables in our homes.  We hug and we cry.  We worship and we pray.  We are fierce for each other and do life together in abundant grace not in judgment.

We also open ourselves up to be the tribe for others.  Beth Moore reminded us in one of her studies that you can't be turned inward with your people all the time, we must not be shut off to the other people out there.  So, we turn outward, we care for others, we bring others in and teach them how to be authentic.  We cannot be an elite club of women, we have to be inclusive, as women we should always be working on this.

This weekend and recently, my eyes have been opened to see that this is the exception not the rule. It seems that women think that they have to have it all together. It seems that we have a hard time being friends with each other. It seems to be that we would rather compete than cheer-lead.  Ladies, there is enough for everyone. There is also enough competition out there in the world, let's not compete with each other.  Let's hold each other up to success.  Let's choose authenticity over fake. Living authentically with each other, doing life together, cheering each other on and offering one another all the grace. This is where it's at girls.  I promise once you break down those walls you will never want to build them up again, not ever.

May I encourage you right where you are to begin praying for authentic relationships with other women. To break down walls with each other and do life together.  It may hurt sometimes. It may not be easy.  You may not always agree.  But if you fight for it it will become some of the most beautiful things about your life here on earth.  Community, unity and tribal living has offered some of the best moments of my life.  I pray that you will find the same.  I have so much more to say on this topic, maybe a study of community will be in order here. Until then, who can you build an authentic relationship with in the new year. How can you break down the walls and reveal true pieces of yourself to help another woman struggling? Maybe it's as simple as asking someone to coffee and truly getting to know here or maybe it's taking a leap of faith and starting a prayer group. I can't wait to hear how this changes your life!  Keep me updated!!!!

You are worthy of really good people in your life, who see you as a woman who is fearfully and wonderfully made in His beautiful image.

Much Love,
Chrystan

PS- Pray hard ladies, you will have to fight for this at every turn because UNITY in women is so very glorifying to God and feels impossible at times!  Pray harder, fight for each other it is worth it! I promise...
PPS- please share this, like this, subscribe and let's be in a tribe together!

New Year New You: The Truth Behind Change

In Christ you are a new creation, the old has gone the new has come~ 2 Corinthians 5:17

Last year I made a decision.  I got tired of being sick and tired, literally.  I committed to change.  I've dieted many many times in my life. I've starved myself, obsessed over working out and beat myself up over every cookie, every french fry.  I've spent many years of my life on the body image roller coaster.  Putting much of my value and worth in the numbers on the scale.  So much of my life I valued what others saw as beautiful more than my heavenly Father. Change seemed impossible.

 Last year it was different.  I spent over a year feeling physically crappy, overweight, depressed and lacking in joy.As I began to review what in the world was going on I prayerfully met the idea of change.  That's the thing about change, it's now seemingly impossible to me without Christ's backing.  As humans our nature is set in such a way, because of free will, that change is very hard.  Our selfish nature, pride and willfulness gets in the way of change.  We want so badly to be more organized, have better will power, stay the course, beat the addiction, yet so many times when the rubber meets the road we find ourselves at the end of the year 10 lbs heavier and no better than how we ended last year.  So, I get it.  I get that we may all have the desire for the completion of a resolution and beat ourselves up at the end of yet another year where we failed again.

The difference in this change for me was that instead of journeying out into the big thing alone, I invited God to go with me.  I sought his desire for this part of my life instead of my own.  This changed my perspective. Instead of change being about what size pants I wore or getting a medal in the 1/2 marathon I wanted to run it became more about honoring God with my life and the way I lived it.

Enough about me.  May I encourage you to invite God into these places of your life that you are wanting change in but can't figure out why every year it's the same.  Here's some things you may be holding onto tightly:

Your single life
Your marriage
Problems at work
Weight loss
Sex addiction
Food addiction
Pornography
Loneliness
Past hurts
Drug addiction
Alcohol abuse
Material possessions
Your children
Your home
A health issue
Social media addiction

How do you invite him in to these places? Pray.  Invite him to intercede in your life, to be the guide in your journey. So often we step out, ahead of him and expect him to work it all out. Oh sweet sister it doesn't work that way. God must be the leader in your dance, he is not in the business of following.
30 lbs lighter, free of daily depression, free of illness and joint pain I literally stand before you changed both physically and spiritually.  I invited God into that change, and he was the author of this story.

Who will write the pages of your book this year?

Can I suggest on anthem for 2016:

Much Love,
Chrystan

God Heal Our Land: A Hashtag For the People

I am a hashtag girl, love them!  I can't sit here and explain the hashtag but I can say they are a way to make something "trend", to be follow-able online.  So, a hashtag (I use #boymom multiple times a week) goes with a picture you post or tweet or a status update and it follows you forever.  Yes, folks, forever it becomes a part of your online thumbprint FOREVER (she says in a Sandlot type tone)  This week our country saw yet another mass shooting.  The same familiar things played out, the same type of media coverage came onto our screens, we've seen the evacuation again, the police chase and the hunt to take these shooters down.  We have basically had a shooting for everyday this year, that's sad fact.  Our President and many others have stated in interviews, in tweets and posts "Our thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their families during this time". #godisntfixingthis Is the latest hashtag to blow up the Internet today.  The back lash of this was this headline:

How very bold of Daily News to post this as a front pager today.  Then came the online quarrel and cruelness back and forth; Christians and Non-believers hashtag about this post and the #godisntfixingthis and it gets uglier and uglier.  I heard 3 believers that are hosts of the Today show this morning covering the story of this hashtag and Daily News cover. With each statement my heart ached for them.  They were nervous to speak on it, fumbling through their words, trying to tip toe through standing up for their faith.

Let me say in boldness and truth my God's agenda is not your agenda.  He has every right to let us sit in our sin.  You want him to fix a country that has turned their back completely on him?  You want him to lay his hand of peace and love and protect us when we lash out in hatred toward each other. When we bathe ourselves in sin with porn at our finger tips, pastors on infidelity websites all while feeding our egos by obsessing over how many shares and likes our selfie gets.  Lord, forgive us, Lord forgive me.  Christians we are luke warm. Non-believers you are headed down a scary road.  Instead of fighting you and defending my powerful God, let me tell you what prayer has done in my life.

We just built a house. We just moved in to our dream home, that we saved and sacrificed for.  Not just a few months after we moved in, my husband lost his job.  Out of nowhere for no just reason my husband was let go of a good, steady, well paying job for a company that he had been a leader in for 10 years.  Financial security, gone.  And everything stood still and for a moment I felt panic creeping in.  I did what I know to do. I met with God.  I went to the end of my farmhouse table and sat and I cried out (literally, ugly cry) to my God. I warded off panic and fear with prayer.  For over 2 months nothing, no job.  For  almost 3 months we prayed. Our friends prayed. Our family prayed. Our church prayed.  I prayed for my husband to find worth outside of the strong provider gene he has. I prayed peace over us, that no matter what we would find refuge in God.  I never doubted that God would provide for us, never once, God's got this we said over and over to friends who didn't understand why we weren't panicking.  For these months I saw God molding my husband, drawing him into the word and walking closely with him.  I cry now typing it out, because it was beautiful.  Today, this morning GOD FIXED THIS.  My husband walked out of my house at 6:30am to start his new job.  I praise God for his provision of a job, and actually a better paying job!  But I want you to know I praise God because during this time of trouble he provided a calm in our home, he made this time sweet, he brought us nearer to him in many ways. Our marriage is stronger and our walk with God is so very sweet.
Today I cry out to God in prayer for my country, for this world.

Your hashtag doesn't make me doubt God. Your headline doesn't make me hate you.  Your Internet hatred of my sweet Savior only draws me closer to him.  Your attack on prayer only makes me pray harder.  Because scripture tells me I should be fervent in prayer and that if I pray, if I remain humble and turn from these wicked ways that he will heal our land.  God Bless America Land that I love...let us get back to the roots this country was built and away from hashtags that tare away at that.
#godhealourland #godhealyourpeople #godforgiveus

Much Love,
Chrystan