Spring Break Survival Guide: More for the Indoor

We are halfway through our Spring Break Survival Guide week!  How's the extra parenting hours going?  I hope you had a chance to try some of the physical activities I shared earlier in the week.  School breaks can be a lot of extra work in the parenting department, especially if you don't normally have all of your children home with you everyday.  Here are 5 fun, cheap and simple things for indoor quieter activities you can do with multiple age groups.

Spring Break Survival Guide: More for the Indoor

Chaos can ensue in only a matter of minutes when all three of my boys are home all day.  I've learned if I have a basic plan for the day, then I succeed a little bit better.  So here are a few fun things to add to your day plan that will keep your kiddos engaged for at least a little while.

SLIME!
Seriously making slime is super simple, easy, cheap and so fun for the kids to play with!  Most times it can be re-used as long as it stays off the floor, doesn't get licked (this is a problem in my home) and you have your kiddos wash their hands before they play. There are only one billion slime recipes on Pinterest.  I posted a super fun one earlier this week on my Facebook page.  Here's another recipe that is Borax free and looks like you can dye it any color kool-aid you want!
This easy recipe:

• 1 tbsp of Metamucil with Psyllium (generic fiver supplement will also work as long as it contains psyllium)
• 1 cup of water
• Optional: Kool-aid packets for scent/color or food dye for richer color

With instructions can be found here on this Growing a Jeweled Rose Blog

Car Wash (barbie wash) Station:
Need a few cars or Barbies (small toys)
Metal tray or pan with sides
Tooth brush (new or old, not to be used again...)
Little bowl or cup with a small dot of dish soap and water
Small wash cloth to dry
Towel under it all for just in case!
Line up the cars (toys) for a wash!
This Activity in Pictures on Jennifer Fischer's Blog!

Boredom Busters:
Oh my WORD the Dating Divas nailed it on this one!  These ideas are so super fun and I think you would either have a very cheap, short Michael's run for some paint etc. Or no cost at all!  These activities are mostly for preschool age and up. So if you have a baby, depending on the age, they could do modified activities based on their skills.  Maybe on Friday you could devote some fun time to pick out some of these 60 activities to do as an end of week celebration!  Maybe make it a family affair?
Find these super fun ideas here at Dating Divas

Some other random fun ideas for indoor fun:
Create a "book nook" for quiet time.  Take a large card board box, have your kids help decorate it, cut an entrance hole in the front.  Set a pillow inside, give child a flashlight, snack and some good books to look through or read. (I wish I could make an adult sided version of this!)

Set up a "photo booth" Have your kids use props around the house (costumes, silly hats, dads tie etc..) Our you can make it a trolls booth then watch Trolls or play the music in the background (it is the most fun soundtrack!) Use your cell phone to take the pictures unless you are awesome and have a real camera!

Indoor Hop Scotch is a fun movement activity for inside.  Use masking tape or painters tape to create the squares. You can make it an educational activity by putting words, letters, shapes, numbers or math problems in the squares.

Write letters.  This is a lost art that many people appreciate.  We live far from our family here on Ferrell Farms, so often we do not see grandparents and family for a long time.  Sending them cards, notes and drawings from the kids is always fun.  Put stickers, different writing utensils, stencils, stamps and fun paper out on the table and let them create!

Balloons entertain kids for hours. Blow up a few balloons, set them up with a safe space and see how long they can work together to keep the balloon from touching the ground.  My brothers and I used to do this for hours!  You can also use painters tape to draw a line for them to hit the balloon over. Want to get crafty? Take large Popsicle sticks and paper plates to make paddles to hit the balloons with!

Find more activities here on my Activities For the Kids Board on Pinterest!

All this to say, try to plan something to do every few hours to keep their attention and ward off whining.  Throw some chores in there and make sure they are helping clean up to keep it as stress free as possible.  Take a deep breath, give your grace and enjoy some extra time doing the most important job you have, working with God to raise your children to know him and see him in their lives.  It's not easy, but it's the greatest calling on our lives as parents.

GO, HAVE FUN!

Much Love,
Chrystan

Like what you're reading?  Follow my blog for more inspiration each week!  Also, I'd love to see pictures of you doing these activities, send them to chrystan.ferrell@gmail.com or comment below!

Mom's Spring Break Survival Guide: Let's Get Active!

Momma friends, it is that time again; SPRING BREAK! and most of us aren't packed up and headed to the beach (sigh).  Here we are, just trying to survive a week with some extra tasks on our hands.  I want to help us all with some easy, cheap/free things to do to keep the sanity. I'm not always the super fun, all the cute crafts mom, but we do have some fun out here on Ferrell Farms despite my lacking in adorable cutesy projects.  Let's do this Spring Break week together starting with three ideas for getting your kids MOVING!

1. CosmicKidsYoga- this YouTube/Online yoga program for kids is the most fun!  I even joined in a bit!  We know getting kids moving is super important not just for health but for sanity (I'm a boymom, my kids must expend energy!)  So last week I had my kids home more time than normal and Cosmic Kids Yoga saved me!  They take the kids through a yoga story adventure (we did the pirate one).  The host leads them through a body active story time that had my kids giggling and have a great time! I mean they rowed a boat with their legs and talked on a phone with their foot, adorbs!  You can find all the Cosmic Kids Yoga goodness here. Highly recommend!

2. Obstacle Course- this is our family JAM!  We love obstacle courses!  We do this outside but it can also be modified to an inside activity if it's still cold weather outside for you or a rainy day.  Kids of all ages can participate, but probably 2 and up with modifications for age groups.  As a "family" we set up a "course"  including but not limited to the following tasks one right after the other:
1- hop over a row of sticks or logs
2- do 10 jumping jacks
3- crawl under a row of chairs
4- spin around the bat 5 times
5- kick a ball in the goal
6- climb up our landscaping wall/bear crawl up the hill
7- Run as fast as you can to the end
We count out loud (good way to integrate counting practice and watch reading work too!) to see how long it takes us and try to beat our own times the second time around. This is great family exercise and the kids always get into it trying to created great obstacles for us. Also, another benefit is EVERYONE is getting exercise even mom (if she can participate!) Family exercise is beneficial on all levels, just ask my friend Mendy Shriver, she runs a fitness business completely based off of moms and their babies you should go check it out!

3. Playground games- guess what...this new generation doesn't play foursquare!!! My eleven year old did not know how to play foursquare, I mean I was shocked and slightly disappointed in our public school system! What kind of world do we live in where kids don't know how to play foursquare!!!! So I took immediate action. The other day we were playing outside and I began to teach my 5 year old how to play foursquare (preschoolers can hit a ball over the line and they think it's pretty fun and it's pretty easy) and then all three of my kids joined in.  We had a blast and we kept it simple, just hitting the ball over the lines into each other's "square".  So, you could all play a game together or you can send them outside to play 3 rounds of playground games.  Foursquare is an easy option because you can square off any area, concrete, gravel, grass etc. You need a bouncy ball. You can also have a jump rope station set up and your other activity can be something you already have available.  (basketball, soccer goal, swings etc) Set a timer and have them play each activity for 10 minutes.  This is all depending on your age of kids.  My kids play outside by themselves now (also we live in the country so it's very safe) if you need to be outside with them, pull up a chair and a whistle and be the ref, while sipping a nice beverage and flipping through a magazine!  Playground games are sure to be lots of fun and can be so simple!

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price.  Therefore, honor God with your bodies.

Our children are greatly lacking in PLAY and childhood obesity is off the charts!  Outdoor play offers fresh air, energy burning, sunshine (mostly) and has lots of opportunity for imagination and success.  Let's start this Spring Break week and make a change for our kids.  Eyes off of screens and onto to play, with little work from mom and no money spent!

Have fun!

Much Love,
Chrystan

Pursuing Lent

(photo:unsplash)

 Lent, the time when religious people come out of the woodwork and give up things.  Apparently the act of great sacrifice, doing without things like coffee, wine, bread, meat, shopping…and on and on.  Lent, I believe, could be so much more than that.  We could be in pursuit instead of promoting self. Here is my Lenten creed…

For Lent I will be in pursuit.  I don’t want to give up I want to give in. I want to give in wholly to who I am at the foot of the Cross. I want to give in to His desires, His will, His way.

I want to die to myself so I can live a life that is pleasing to God. That honors Him. That says yes to community, to loving well, to serving, to teaching, to mentoring.  A life that says yes to abundant grace and mistakes and tears and joy. 

(photo:chrystanferrell)

This Lent I will celebrate each day by opening the word, by giving up my time for His glory. I will celebrate the journey to the Cross by giving up my will, to honor His.  I will celebrate the life and death, by dying to my selfish desires to instead desire time in prayer and repentance. 

This Lent may we all by more willing to give up our lives for the glory of his, than we are to give up a food, a beverage, or an activity. This Lenten season may we look for the face of grace instead of the “obligation” of living without.

Forty days with the God of grace at the helm of this ship sounds better than anything else I could pursue today. Let the creator guide the created.

You are beautifully made by the creator of the universe who died for the sins that you refuse to let go of.  Let that sink in a minute, then lay down your life and follow HARD after him.  May this be the Lent season where we give up what He is truly asking for, our hearts.

Isaiah 44:22
"I have blotted out your transgressions like a cloud and your sins like a mist; return to me, for I have redeemed you"

Much Love,

Chrystan

Centered in the Light

(photo by cferrell)

Have you ever just sunk down deep into your depths and wanted to stay there?  Today that's where I am.  And sweet sister, if I'm being honest, it's not a place where I sit with Jesus it's a place where I feel sad.  Today has been hard, and the problem I'm battling will not get easier. So, where do we go from the deep down darkest depths, you get centered back into the light.

My life is ordinary, yet run by an extraordinary creator.  He does sweet things to lift my eyes back up to him and today has been no different, though I continue to battle the back slide.  Everyday faith for me comes fairly easy, I mean God is super easy to trust and believe in in the everyday spaces. It's the places of turmoil where there is uncertainty of out come, when there is attack is where things start to feel impossible.   

My life is not tragic.  Today I am not facing tragedy, and what's interesting I learned something about tragedy at If:Gathering this weekend.  There is not a Hebrew word that translates our word "tragedy" because the Hebrews believed there was nothing tragic, that if something seemed hopeless still it was because God was still moving and working out his plan.  Now that's something to wrap your mind around.  

(photo by cferrell)

My life is Christ centered.  When your life is Christ centered you are walking in light.  When I am not focused on the truth of Christ I am hiding behind darkness instead of staying in the light.  Today things seemed dark, very dark, and sad but I spent a few hours stepping back into light.  I opened the pages of the Bible and read truth.  I re-centered.

Lovelies, things are going to suck. It's pretty much guaranteed (see John 16:33). We are separated from the original plan for us because of original sin, so this world and it's sadness and hurts we cannot avoid.  We can, however, choose to re-center.  We can choose to chase after light with all our might and all our energy.  We are going to get down, but if we allow him, the Lord will give us reason not to stay down.  

(photo by cferrell)

The months ahead may have dark spots but the God who knit us together in the secret place will love us well and lift our face, if we center ourselves in his light.  I'm praying that for us this week.  Don't stay down in darkness girls, let the lover of your soul lift your head and guide you on. Seek Him in prayer, seek Him in scripture, find a church, find a Bible study, find accountability, you were not meant to do this life alone.  God created you special, you are a treasure to him FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made in his LOVINGLY BEAUTIFUL image.  Run with that as the wind in your sails this week.

Much Love,

Chrystan

Nothing to Prove Review: A Book For You

I've not officially written a book review for you before.  It's a new thing I'm trying so just go with me on this for a minute.

So many of us (women) are striving.  We strive to be really good at all the things.  Often we drive ourselves to the edge of sanity to get there.  Our addiction to approval, praise and perfection and the lengths we go through to get there stretch us in ways that leave marks.  Scars even.  We are a performance, like based society and as women we are striving, maybe towards the wrong things in the wrong ways.

Jennie Allen, one of my very favorite authors and people on the planet, has written a book that has freed me from those striving places.  The Bible is our number one go to for healing and instruction, always.  God has also given words to others to teach us, Jennie has words to teach us and wisdom to share.  

I don't want to share all the details (because you should go read this book today!) but I want you to know that this book will free those places in your life where you are striving yet falling short. At every turn Jennie reminds us that we are enough because Jesus is enough.  With personal accounts, Biblical examples and words of truth and inspiration Jennie takes readers on a step by step journey through the pain of inadequacy to the freedom in Christ's enoughness (that may not be a word but we are going to pretend it is today).  There's talk of transparency and authenticity which ya'll know are two of my favorite words!  She baby steps us through each hidden crack of our feelings of inadequacy and heals them with the words of our Heavenly Father.

You can't miss out on this book, and I promise it will change you.  God is doing something in the words FREEDOM and BROKEN this year, I believe it.  He has so many of our leaders speaking truth into these words. Let's set our lives up to hear from people teaching truth about doing life together, being enough in Christ and being broken before with each other and our Father. Say yes to Nothing to Prove, read it's pages and let it sink into your soul. Then message me and tell me all the things God is teaching you through these words, because I am certain He has a word for his girls through this book.  

I am sharing this review not because I get some special benefit from it (I was on Jennie's launch team so I got to read the book early, but that's where it stops). I want you to read this book because I know it will change us for the better, because I know God is working in this and I want us all to be apart of these places that will set us free.  Imagine if every woman operated under the idea that she was enough in Christ.  What an army we will be!

Free is where our creator wants us to be, He created you for such a time as this, you were made BEAUTIFULLY FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY in his perfect image...you have nothing to prove in your life with him, he has already declared you enough sweet girl!

Go get this book so you can read the words that changed me. Click here Nothing to Prove Amazon to order your copy.

Much Love,

Chrystan

PS- I'm headed to IF:Gathering in Austin, Texas this weekend (back to my home state!) Are you participating in IF? If not you can live stream it, check out the details here!

To recognize our need for God is the beginning of our finding him ~Jennie Allen Nothing to Prove

When the Call Is Greater

Some of us just play life safe.  That is truly the way to go right?  Just skate through life, not turning over any stones, not rubbing anyone the wrong way, not standing up but not sitting down.  Just a regular, safe, skim the surface kind of life.  What's wrong with that? I believe we have a greater call than that and unfortunate for those of us who live this kind of a lifestyle there are warnings against it...

Revelation 3:15-16

"I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth."

We see many passages in the Bible that cover the lukewarm believer and warns us against that lifestyle.  Ya'll this was me just a few short years ago and I battle against it even today.  Even today as someone who leads worship, professes faith whenever she can, a teacher, a writer and a speaker of the word. Yes even through all of that I have to rage against complacency and a lukewarm, shallow, skim the surface kind of faith.  This I think, is Satan's playground in the derailment of believers. So where is this creeping in?

1. Staying comfy cozy in our pretty, safe and relaxed Churches
We were never meant to sit in church on Sunday mornings and never be in community.  We were never meant to not go out to all the people and show them fierce love. We were never meant to never GO and proclaim all the good things!  You aren't meant to just warm a pew once a week. Go do something that increases your faith, that increases the Kingdom of Heaven, that points someone in the direction of our loving Savior.

2. Not reading the Bible
Beth Moore, oh that sister can truly tell it like it really is.  In her sermon at Passion 17 she said all the words.  I leave you with this quote:

Your life will be changed when you open the pages of the Bible daily. End of story. Let's commit to reading the word, it's life bringing (here's a Bible reading app i'm crazy about!).  Let's not walk away from Jesus to serve him.

3.Prayer is just something you do at meals
Prayer has changed my life. CHANGED IT!  4 years ago I was part of a prayer group that has now launched into a nationwide movement.  Imperfectly Brave, though it is freeing me and calling me out on the waters, has changed me but it's the prayer aspect that changes me daily. It changes my heart, my outlook, it's increasing my faith and has strengthened my bond with other believer's and most importantly my relationship with our heavenly Father. Through prayer I have seen mountains moved and learned to trust God when the mountain stayed in the same place.  Prayer will change you, dive in, it will keep you afloat I promise!

4. Lacking in Faith
If we never GO, we never have to step out in faith. If we never do the hard things, we will always stay in the same place. God calls us out with him, he can still accomplish without us and I believe he does.  But the creator of the universe wants you to work alongside him to bring Heaven to Earth. To bring souls into the kingdom of God. Why dear sister would you ever, ever, not take him up on that offer?  He is whispering to you telling your heart what to do, are you willing to be faithful to that call, even when it is greater than you can imagine?

5. Staying un-challenged
When was the last time you did something out of your comfort zone? When was the last time you stood up for something that was right?  When was the last time you sacrificed yourself for the glory of God?  Self-preaching here ya'll, I play it pretty safe because I like my comfy life in suburbia. Imagine what this year would be like if we all stepped out for the great call. Mind blowing, it would be mind blowing.  We would be bursting at the seems with abundant faith and joy! In the same space I want to say, you need to surround yourself with people who will challenge you to live life chasing after Jesus and his call on your life.  For some of you that is going to be your challenge this year, it's more than WORTH IT!

Ya'll the call is greater than this comfortable life we are living.  This year over at Imperfectly Brave we are studying what calling means in light of the gospel.  Do you know what the gospel is? It is the story of the rescue plan God has for us.  It started with original sin and went on through the Bible as we were led up to the coming of Jesus, his life his death and his resurrection, to the time when Heaven and Earth are brought back together in the second coming.  You guys, in light of the rescue plan. In light of your salvation...how could the call ever be to stay comfortable and safe and unchallenged?

As we continue working towards the bettering of ourselves this year, how is God calling you to serve in this one life? What is he challenging you with?
-Joining a Church
-Relentlessly loving that unlovable person
-Going on Mission
-Staying home with your children
-Going back to work
-Answering the call to ministry
-Giving your life to him
-Joining a Bible Study

It's not skies the limit, it's heaven's the focus.
GO.

What is it? What is your greater call right now? Tell me I really want to know so that I can pray for you and check in on you this year!

Go, be the one who lives a life honoring to the God who created you FEARLESSLY and WONDERFULLY in his BEAUTIFUL image!

Much Love,
Chrystan

PS- Need anthem? Here ya go! I'll share mine with you:

The Dream Thief

(Unsplash:Steve Halama)

Dreams.
Goals.
Passions.

Do these things we dream of, do these gifts we long to share, these goals we've set and these things we chase after have a shelf life? If not what's stopping us?

For days I've sat at my desk staring at my dream guide and my purpose sheet trying to put into words what's in my heart.  Writing them down seemed impossible and I couldn't figure out why, until today. It all boils down to fear.  Fear. What an ugly word.  I've boiled my fear down to two main things:

Failure
I'm afraid I'm not good enough to bring it all to fruition.  I'm afraid I will let those in my corner down or those out of my corner will be proved right. I'm afraid I really can't do it.

You
I'm afraid you think I'm too old. I'm afraid you will think I just like the next new thing. I'm afraid that you think I'm crazy. I'm afraid that you think I think I'm pretty awesome. I'm afraid you won't be safe with my dream. I'm afraid I won't live up to your standards. I'm afraid I don't fit your mold. I'm afraid when I chase these dreams I will let you down. I'm afraid I'm not enough.

Today I wrote them all down. All of the outlandish things that God has laid on my heart, maybe even since I was a little girl.  All these dreams that I may fail at all these goals that you may say I could never achieve. The things I may be too old for or not good enough for, those things...I wrote it all down.

You see, I was afraid to write them down because I didn't think I was enough. But I realized today that I'm right, I am not enough and that right there will set you FREE.  These things God is calling me to, I can't do them...
I can't make them happen
I can't work hard enough
I can't be all the things necessary to make them happen

That's the beauty of these crazy dreams God gave me.  I'm not enough, but he is.  I am dreaming dreams that make me so uncomfortable. They call me out on the waters where there is no life boat in a storm that I cannot tame, this year these dreams of mine are so big and so bold only God could make them happen.  Those dreams, those are the best ones to have. I am learning if we are not stepping out in such bold ways that we are scared, with knees knocking so much so that we have to lean on him to stand up, then girls we aren't dreaming with the knowledge that our God is mighty. Our God is Uncontainable. Our God makes blind men see and raises the dead. He made mountains and moved them around to create the earth.  He is mighty! Sweet sister he is big enough to accomplish whatever he is calling you to without you, but he loves you so much he invites you to do it with him. Stop limiting him and start dreaming with him.

Whatever it is, it's not bigger than the God calling you to it. But you must invite him into your life.  You must.  You cannot go forward without him, he must be a part of this plan. So today, I wrote them all down and I prayed. I prayed that I would honor him with these dreams. I prayed that I would not go before him. I prayed that I would be diligent in my ways to seek the kingdom with these gifts.

Today I pray that whatever it is that seems so huge that God is calling you to do that you will ask him to lead the way.  Whatever it is. Maybe it's going back to school, maybe its seminary, maybe it's a total career change, maybe it's staying home and homeschooling. Whatever that BIG scary thing is, I pray you will seek God with it.  That you will do it with him.  I am praying that you are brave enough to step out and do really big uncomfortable things for the glory of God.  I pray that for myself.

He made us, he pursues us, he longs to give us the desires of our hearts, you dear girl are FEARFULLY & WONDERFULLY made in his loving image. He can and will do immeasurably more than you can ever imagine.

Go with God this year.  Write those dreams down and chase after them with a HOLY passion! I'm right here with you, shaking in my cowgirl boots!

Much Love,
Chrystan

PS- Want more on CALLING?  Join us over at Imperfectly Brave this year as we study CALLING!  Register for this free program HERE.

Find Your Tribe

This past week I celebrated 35 years of life.  My people rallied and gave me a great week with cards, gifts, notes and acts of kindness.  My husband sent me out of town with my some dear friends and we had a weekend away that included a lot of laughter, a Branson Christmas Variety show, shopping, Christmas lights, chips and queso and lots of girl talk.  It made me so thankful for my TRIBE. Let me tell you about my people.

Years ago I prayed.  I prayed for God to send me authentic women.  I longed for deep friendships in my local community.  I have lots of friends spread out all over the country (and world) and I cherish them dearly.  What I was longing for was people here where I live, to do life together.  A connection deeper than the glaze over of "how are you" "I'm fine".  Though I was surrounded by people all the time, I still felt lonely. So I prayed.

Then came one friend. Then came two. Then three. Today I can say I have a tribe of women who are fierce for me.

Through what I will call tribal living I have seen change in my life.  I have been and am being refined. I have been cared for and comforted. I have learned more, I have lingered longer.  My walk with God has been so sweet and so good. I have leaned in to prayer and study more than ever.  These women, this tribe, they have set me free from perfection and performance. They meet me where I am and lift me up when I need lifted.  God has used these authentic relationships to reveal pieces of me that need mending, shaping and refinement.  God has shown me his grace, love and provision through these women.  He has taught me how to love outside my comfort zone and how to say I'm sorry even when it was really hard to do.

My willingness to open myself up to authenticity has allowed for some of the best years in my life.  Not because they have been free from hurts, difficulties and trials.  Definitely not!  These last few years have been trial, after trial, after trial.  God provided helpmates for me, to be real with, to hold fast to truth with, to hold me accountable and encourage me to seek first the kingdom for all things.  Not to seek them, but to seek the kingdom.

Tribal living has become life for us.  We do life together.  We feed each other when life gets crazy. We unpack boxes for each other. We take each others kids when we need date nights.  We break bread and drink wine around tables in our homes.  We hug and we cry.  We worship and we pray.  We are fierce for each other and do life together in abundant grace not in judgment.

We also open ourselves up to be the tribe for others.  Beth Moore reminded us in one of her studies that you can't be turned inward with your people all the time, we must not be shut off to the other people out there.  So, we turn outward, we care for others, we bring others in and teach them how to be authentic.  We cannot be an elite club of women, we have to be inclusive, as women we should always be working on this.

This weekend and recently, my eyes have been opened to see that this is the exception not the rule. It seems that women think that they have to have it all together. It seems that we have a hard time being friends with each other. It seems to be that we would rather compete than cheer-lead.  Ladies, there is enough for everyone. There is also enough competition out there in the world, let's not compete with each other.  Let's hold each other up to success.  Let's choose authenticity over fake. Living authentically with each other, doing life together, cheering each other on and offering one another all the grace. This is where it's at girls.  I promise once you break down those walls you will never want to build them up again, not ever.

May I encourage you right where you are to begin praying for authentic relationships with other women. To break down walls with each other and do life together.  It may hurt sometimes. It may not be easy.  You may not always agree.  But if you fight for it it will become some of the most beautiful things about your life here on earth.  Community, unity and tribal living has offered some of the best moments of my life.  I pray that you will find the same.  I have so much more to say on this topic, maybe a study of community will be in order here. Until then, who can you build an authentic relationship with in the new year. How can you break down the walls and reveal true pieces of yourself to help another woman struggling? Maybe it's as simple as asking someone to coffee and truly getting to know here or maybe it's taking a leap of faith and starting a prayer group. I can't wait to hear how this changes your life!  Keep me updated!!!!

You are worthy of really good people in your life, who see you as a woman who is fearfully and wonderfully made in His beautiful image.

Much Love,
Chrystan

PS- Pray hard ladies, you will have to fight for this at every turn because UNITY in women is so very glorifying to God and feels impossible at times!  Pray harder, fight for each other it is worth it! I promise...
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Rescued

When I was a little girl, well maybe not really little, but as I am about to begin year 35, the younger me looks younger and younger.  When I was younger, I was on vacation with my parents. We were in a hotel pool outside in whatever state we were visiting (I'm so old I can't remember).  I was playing with my brothers and turned around to see a little girl, maybe two or three, drowning in the pool.  I swam over to her and simply stood her up, as she was just on the steps of the pool, all she had to do was stand up and she was ok.  She was still chocking on the water as her mom rushed over. They didn't speak English so I couldn't understand her mom at the time, but I believe she was thanking me.  I was reminded of this today as I was recalling a recent message my friend Andrew gave at church. I don't remember all the details of his message, I mean I'm a mom of three I barely remember my own name, but one word keeps coming back into my brain: RESCUED.

Did you know that you need to be Rescued? Did you know there's a rescue plan for you already played out and in place?

Some of us don't realize it but we are drowning and all we need to do is stand up.  It seems like we like to have the feeling of drowning sometimes.  As I looked at my December calendar this week I paused.  I have something every night, every weekend, everyday has a commitment.  So much for a season of peace.  Maybe I like to be drowning in a sea of busy, maybe it's hard for me to have silence.

For you it may be something else.  Maybe you're drowning in a sea of bad relationships, ones in which you give pieces of yourself away, so much so that you feel there is nothing left. Maybe you are drowning because there is nothing left anymore to hold you up.

Or others it may be work and accomplishments.  You work all day and all night to build up an empire because that, that is what will show that you have great worth. Your net value.  You are drowning in a sea of accomplishments that when they are the only thing left could never withstand the weight you carry.  Pieces of paper can never pull us up out of the water.

And today one of you is reading this and you are drowning in life.  All you do is give yourself away over and over and over again. To your spouse, your kids, your church, the PTA, nonprofit work, fundraising, book writing, blog posts, praise team, ministries, caring for the needy, caring for the not needy, that ailing parent who takes it all out of you, your child who has cancer...and so on.  Today you are siting here with your head under water, chocking on just regular life and it overcomes you completely.  Nothing is holding you up anymore, only weighing you down to sink further.

To all of you I say, stand up and be rescued.  God has put it within you already.  Once you lay down your life to him, the Holy Spirit dwells within you and that is your rescue dear friend.  This season of Christmas is celebrating the middle of the rescue plan which began in Genesis, was predicted in Isaiah and came to fruition in Matthew-Mark-Luke and John.  Jesus is your rescuer.  He swam over because he saw you gasping with your head under water.  He has his hand under your arm holding you, now you need to stand up.

You are his rescue plan, stop drowning in life and let him lead you up out of the water, dry you off and set you back on solid ground. Life will still fill up, calendars and work and family will still be vying for our attention, but your focus will change.  Serving will become a call, loving will be challenging but worth it, work will be to glorify God and relationships will be tricky but beautiful in his presence.

Stop drowning, stand up, and be rescued.

Your rescuer came here with you in mind to fulfill a prophecy of life, death and resurrection; so that you could spend eternity with him because he loves you. You dear friend, are his daughter (son), beautifully made in his image and fully worth the RESCUE.

Much Love,
Chrystan

Dear Younger Me: An Assault Survivor's Journey Through Healing

Fall is a busy season for me.  Work is busy, ministry is busy, my family is busy. We have been running around from here to there every day this month.  So it's been easy to push aside a pending date.  A date that could be a big deal but also could be shoved to the side fairly easily, since there are so many people who don't even know. 

However, in this season of life I am more than for transparency.  In this season, this busy season, I am so for the scary share. In this social and political climate, I am so for telling the story about the day, ten years ago last week, that a man forced his way into my home and violated me.

Ten years ago, I was the single momma of an almost one-year-old little boy.  Struggling to work it all out, I spent most days wondering how I would ever do all the things that required two parents as just one.  On this particular weekend, my son was out of town with his dad.  I was working a big event for my job, an event that left me exhausted on a Saturday night in October.  All my friends were going out on the town, but I was tired and reluctant to go.  "Just come out for one drink," they pleaded. "You don't have to stay out all night." So, I dragged myself out for "one drink." The bar was loud; there were so many people there. For a while I tried to be in the moment--it was a night free from the obligations of motherhood. I should enjoy myself.

However, as this night wore on, there was a guy that just wouldn't quit.  He was not in the business of hiding his interest in me, and I was not in the mindset to fake my interest in him.  Finally, after multiple attempts to shake him off, I decided to just leave. I was tired anyway.  Here's where I made a mistake. I told this man that I was tired from a long week and day of work and was headed home. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, so I played the "it's not you it's me" card and made my way to my car. In hindsight, I would have been more aware, but who would have known the next series of events?

This man followed me to my townhouse. I was completely unaware. He knocked on my door and I, unaware and naive, answered it. This man, despite much begging and pleading from me, raped me in my cute little yellow townhouse, where I lived with my ten-month-old. There on the stairs in my home, I was violated and robbed of any peace of mind a single 25-year-old woman could have. 

So why now? Why should I share this now?  Ten years seems like a big anniversary to me. Most ten-year anniversaries are celebrated with jewelry or a big vacation, popping the cork of a well-aged bottle of champagne. Last weekend I didn't have time for all of that. But today, in celebration of surviving all that your body, soul and mind go through after a rape, I want to share what God has taught me through this. I want to impart wisdom given to me through this terrible event.

1. Be Aware: Ladies, daughters, teens and girls.  Be aware of your surroundings and what you

say. Rape is never the fault of the victim, but you may be able to protect yourself from this happening if you are aware of what is going on around you, and aware of what you say and give away in conversations.  You cannot be too aware of what you say or do--maybe ever.

2. Tell Someone Right Away! Afterwards, I was literally in shock. I was so shocked that I showered and went to church first thing the next morning. Throughout service I began to shake violently. I couldn't stop crying. Even through lunch at my parents' house, I was just crying. My dad was leaving on a business trip; they had so much going on and had already done so much for me. I just couldn't tell them. I was frozen in time. Finally, a friend convinced me to go to the hospital. There they completed a full rape kit, which was like being violated again. HOWEVER, this man's DNA is forever in the system. If this ever happens again, the report will come up and he will be held responsible for his actions. Tell someone. Don't hide. They will help you. I had three friends who rallied with me that day. One took me to the hospital, one picked my son up and brought him home, and one stayed with me. I was so scared to tell; it was so hard. I get it, but telling is a part of the healing process. You must process or you will not heal. I am forever thankful for the women who came alongside me during this time. It has actually taken years for me to tell my parents. It was so hard, but once I did, I felt more free. You can do it.

3. It's Not Your Fault and It's Never Ok: We have a candidate running for office that has bragged about violating women. We also have another candidate whose husband violated women while in office.  This is not okay.  No man should ever be trained up or told that this behavior is her fault, not his. That she shouldn't have worn that dressed or kissed him that way. That she really wanted this. No woman wants this. It's not okay, and it's not your fault.  Anyone who says so is wrong and also needs help. Let us commit to raising up our boys and girls to understand the difference and act accordingly.

4. Healing Will Come: Ten years later, God has healed this hurt. Actually a number of years ago, God worked in my life to show me how He cared for me during this time. For a number of months after this event, I hit rock bottom and stayed there. Without a child to care for, I don't know what would have happened to me. Somehow, some way, down in the deepest darkest place of my heart, I found some light and God lifted me up. It took years after that to process what had happened and to allow myself to heal and feel safe again.  I moved, which helped.  I realize we can't all move, but before I moved, I completely changed my furniture, my sheets, my home layout, even my hair. I then changed my heart and sought the Lord with my sorrow.  Again, this took a lot of time and processing and some therapy, but it happened. (This falls under the stages of grief.) I also have some PTSD. I cannot watch rape scenes on TV or in movies.  The word "rape" makes my ears burn. These are things I can't stop, but I do not let them run my life. I can only say, God cares. He sees you in your hurt, and He will love you through this if you'll let Him.

5. Overcome Evil with Good: If you have been raped, may I give us all a pep talk? It's easy to stay in the place of pain and sorrow over this, to live in the shadow of shame, and to protect ourselves from the hardship of sharing our stories. I encourage you to seek healing so that you can, in turn, share your story. Why share your story? To prevent and to empower. My prayer is that, through hearing this story, a man might think twice before making a crude remark about rape or assault. Maybe a girl will put her head up when walking to her car and prevent an attack. There might be a woman reading this right now who has been living with shame from a rape that was never her fault. Maybe she will be freed in these words, knowing there are others of us out there. Evil must not win here. God can prevail in the stories of survival and healing. I am no longer a victim of this; ten years later, I am empowered and free. I pray this for all of us.

It's not that I don't have hard days, but they are few and far between now. I am married with three boys and a life that I could never have dreamed up in a million years. I know that's not the case for all of us, and this life did not come easy.  Yet I am more than thankful to sit on this side of the computer, telling you the hard truth about sexual assault and encouraging you to share and to fight for women across the world who are hidden in the shame of this terrible act of selfishness. There are many ways to stand up to sexual violence:

1. Teach your daughters the dangers and how to be aware.  Open the line of communication so

    that if, God forbid, anything ever happened to them, they would come to you for help and

    healing.

2. Teach your sons to respect women always. That no means no no matter what.  Train them up

    to know that violating a woman is never ok. Ever.

3. Support a local abuse victims program. (Here in KC we have Hope House.)

4. Let it reflect in your vote. (Prayerfully consider your candidate, is all I can ask.)

5. Be aware of your surroundings. Be aware of the words of others.  Be aware that this is not a problem that is going away.  Guard yourself and impart wisdom on the children, teens and singles in your life.

Finally, I want to say to men: if you have committed an act of sexual assault or sexual violence, there is healing and hope for you at the cross, too. There is healing for you there. God forgives. You just have to be willing to admit your sins and ask for His forgiveness. I have forgiven my attacker and hope he has repented and changed his ways, or will do so. My true prayer is that no other woman would fall victim to his attack again. 

This was a hard blog to write. I ask that only words of encouragement for myself and others who have fallen victim to this terrible act be written in the comments.  I do not share this for sympathy; I share it to empower.  Please help me celebrate my ten-year anniversary by sharing this, so that others may hear and know.  Here is a song that I have been listening to and thinking about the healing that has accured for me over the past 10 years, maybe it will help you too:

God made us beautifully in His image. He is the Great Physician who loves us dearly, and He alone can heal all the hurts.

Much love,

Chrystan

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Sit Still Look Pretty

I am a passionate soul. I think when God created me and blew life and breath into my bones he might have added a little bit of fire.  My poor parents.  I can imagine that trying to raise a girl with all this fire, passion and emotion felt impossible more than once.  Bless them and all of the grey hairs and sleepless nights I gave them.

Now that I am an adult, doing adult things, I have come to realize that this emotion, this passion, has allowed me to survive.  It has brought me through single parenthood, addictions, dire times, abuse and through extreme depression. Somehow God turned all that into good and fueled the flame that he placed inside me, even when I wasn't seeking him.

There are so many people in my life that do not share my exuberant passion.  They are more of a straight and narrow stay on the safe path of life people.  Bless them all.  We cannot all be the same.  There have to be all kinds of people, otherwise the world would either be very dangerous and wild or very quiet and boring.  We are made unique for a reason.

This week I get to do something that I was made to do.  I get to be free. I get to be me.  I get to stand in front of a room of women and lead them in worship and prayer.  I get to take my passion and infuse it into their sweet souls.  I get to lead them into the throne room, what an incredible honor.  Each week on Sunday mornings I stand before a group of people and play a role in leading them in worship but it is a bit different. I have to stay in a safe box. I can't talk out of turn. I can't sing a praise song at the time there was supposed to be a hymn. I can't raise my hands a certain way or even have a posture of prayer on stage because that would shock the masses.  Everything has to look and feel the same every weekend and that is one tall order for this free spirit.

This morning, after a night of practicing for Imperfectly Brave Worship Night (that's this Thursday) I was overcome by emotion. Last night I was so free.  I was comfortable in my own skin, I was beautifully functioning as the fiery passionate little daughter that my good Father made me to be.  I didn't have to fit into a mold, I raised my hands freely and bowed my head while I sang.  I was overcome with my Fathers love in song.  It was beautiful.

Earlier this week someone who means so much to me used my passion against me and it really hurt.  I closed up immediately and shut down.  Last night I was set free, reminded that I was not made to fit into your mold, her mold, his mold, their mold.  I am not a sit still look pretty girl.  I am filled to the brim with fire and love, mixed in with extreme compassion and grace all granted to me through my relationship with the Savior of my soul.  God will call me to function within his plan for me. I cannot be a robot, I cannot look like you and you should not look like me.  You are called to be you, to chase after Jesus in the way he calls you to.  I am called to love passionately, to go do, to pour into people and bring grace to them in all the ways I can. We are all called to worship, to love well, and to be the hands and feet of Jesus in obedience to his word. I may do that with the passion of 1,000 suns, you may do that in a more reserved way, but let's both decide to do it anyways.

I am learning to embrace my passion, maybe even reign it in at times in order to also appreciate the way others do things too.  Thursday night this Cinderella will break free from the walls of this tower and step out free from the shackles that are placed on her by the world around her. God will fulfill a need in her in that place, that time that only he can.  Then she will go back to her call to obedience trying to bloom where she was planted.

I hope this week you allow someone to bloom in your presence, maybe just maybe, you will catch their fire.

"And let us consider how we many spur one another on toward love and good deeds..."
Hebrews 10:24

Much Love,

Chrystan

PS- This song nails it not in the context of a relationship for me but in the context of being free to be who I am where I am.

"Sure I'm a pretty girl up in a pretty world, but they say pretty hurts and
I don't wanna sit still look pretty..."

Play Like A Girl

I've written and erased and re-written this blog about 5 times over the last week.  I can't seem to get it right, here's my last attempt to tell you what's on my heart.

Once a week I take off my business owner clothes and lace up my soccer cleats.  The roles are not that much different for me.  In each role I have to fight and hold my own.  In each role I'm frequently the only girl in the pack.  In each role I have to prove myself.

I am so very competitive and so very aware that women in powerful roles have to prove themselves worthy of standing on their own.  Worthy of running with the boys.  There is a smaller percentage of women business owners in the world.  We are small but fierce.  On or off the field I am a fierce competitor. 

There have been times in our history where being a strong woman was frowned upon. There were times in our history where strong women were almost too vocal.  I believe there can and needs to be a great balance here.  Did you know that the ministry of Jesus included women which was mind blowing for the time that he walked this earth? Strong, bold, fierce women are all over the ministry of Jesus, and in fact all over the Bible.

Last week, I had someone tell me "it's just business, there's no emotion here, it's just business"  I called my friend Mendy, frustrated with myself. Frustrated because I try really hard to run with the guys in business. I don't want to ever be viewed as lacking or weaker.  This interaction made me feel lacking and weaker but my homegirl Mendy (another female entrepreneur) reminded me of the beauty in women business owners. How God uses his creation in women to do great things.

May I remind you of Deborah in the Bible (2 Kings) and Mary (mother of Jesus) Rehab (prostitute who played an amazing role in the Bible and the story of Jesus) ya'll the list goes on and on.  We are useful. We are important.  God can and does use us to his glory.

Each Thursday I join a group of guys out on a field to play a sport that helped mold me into the fierce woman that I am today.  I am the only girl that plays.  I fight hard.  I hate loosing the ball and they know I will fight hard to get it back.  I am competitive and I play hard.  I play like myself, not like them.  Who I am as a player is uniquely different than who they are as players. Men play differently in soccer and in life.  God made us uniquely different. I am happy and thankful today that I play like a girl.  I am happy blessed and thankful that God molded me into the amazing women of faith and grace that I am today.  I may not play perfectly, I may play with intense passion.  However, today I stand in front of you a mom of 3 boys, a loving wife, business owner to a rapidly growing business, woman of faith and leader in ministry that says, play like a girl and love it.  God uses his women for some pretty great things!  Teach your girls to play like a girl too.  To fight fiercely. To stand boldly.  To be unique. To be an individual. To be a sister loved by God.  He loves his girls and uses them often to make advances in his kingdom. Go boldly and bravely towards him, he will show you how to fight.  Girls, he has made you FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY in his perfect loving image. 

Never forget that you are a daughter to the one true king if nothing else today, stand tall and firm in that and teach your girls to do the same. To play like a girl...

Much Love,

Chrystan

Renewal

RENEWAL: The replacing or repair of something that is worn out, run down or broken.

The wonderful thing about this time of year is renewal.  One would think that that time would be the New Year, but I beg to differ.  Spring is renewal for me, the replacing of the worn out.  I have seasonal depression so I find myself in what feels like a hopeless rut for about 3-4 months of the year (my poor husband).  I just feel blah. I get chubby, grumpy, sad, and difficult. I try to find joy in so many places but joy does not come.  Through prayer I survive this every year.  This year was better than the last few.  I took vitamin D and combated it in every way I could.  Now I get to stare fully into Spring knowing the next part of the year will likely be easier to manage.

I am a woman all about renewal.  I roll well with change.  I like to try new things.  I embrace new ways of doing things, new schedules to try, fun workout classes to attend and basically just love to dive right in!  For some of you the thought of all of this is making it hard to breathe, I understand we are not all creatures of change.  During this season of renewal what I want to remind us all of is the renewal that comes with our life in Christ. If you are a believer you get to be reminded of something so precious this week.  The life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. This is the ultimate representation of renewal.  In Revelations 21 we get a picture of this:

"Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. he will dwell with them and they will be his people and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away."

Can you just imagine, all the new things!!!??  He makes all things new!!!  You, me, your family, your church...newness.  If you surrender your life to him you are made new in him.  There's nothing he can't fix in your life there's nothing lacking in him, he brings beauty even in despair, he brings life even in death. Renewal at it's very best.

 Just like Spring is bringing in new blooms, green grass and lush gardens full of life; God is bringing newness to his believers each and every day.  Allow him to work in your and through you. How can you do this? Surrender your life to him and run hard after his promises and words (read the Bible, be in fellowship, tell others of his love). Sprint to him sweet girl, he will make you new.

Be renewed this week friends.  Allow God to show you his new things for you.  Allow him to take you by the hand and show you all his goodness and believe me HE IS GOOD!

Much Love,

Chrystan