The Dream Thief

(Unsplash:Steve Halama)

Dreams.
Goals.
Passions.

Do these things we dream of, do these gifts we long to share, these goals we've set and these things we chase after have a shelf life? If not what's stopping us?

For days I've sat at my desk staring at my dream guide and my purpose sheet trying to put into words what's in my heart.  Writing them down seemed impossible and I couldn't figure out why, until today. It all boils down to fear.  Fear. What an ugly word.  I've boiled my fear down to two main things:

Failure
I'm afraid I'm not good enough to bring it all to fruition.  I'm afraid I will let those in my corner down or those out of my corner will be proved right. I'm afraid I really can't do it.

You
I'm afraid you think I'm too old. I'm afraid you will think I just like the next new thing. I'm afraid that you think I'm crazy. I'm afraid that you think I think I'm pretty awesome. I'm afraid you won't be safe with my dream. I'm afraid I won't live up to your standards. I'm afraid I don't fit your mold. I'm afraid when I chase these dreams I will let you down. I'm afraid I'm not enough.

Today I wrote them all down. All of the outlandish things that God has laid on my heart, maybe even since I was a little girl.  All these dreams that I may fail at all these goals that you may say I could never achieve. The things I may be too old for or not good enough for, those things...I wrote it all down.

You see, I was afraid to write them down because I didn't think I was enough. But I realized today that I'm right, I am not enough and that right there will set you FREE.  These things God is calling me to, I can't do them...
I can't make them happen
I can't work hard enough
I can't be all the things necessary to make them happen

That's the beauty of these crazy dreams God gave me.  I'm not enough, but he is.  I am dreaming dreams that make me so uncomfortable. They call me out on the waters where there is no life boat in a storm that I cannot tame, this year these dreams of mine are so big and so bold only God could make them happen.  Those dreams, those are the best ones to have. I am learning if we are not stepping out in such bold ways that we are scared, with knees knocking so much so that we have to lean on him to stand up, then girls we aren't dreaming with the knowledge that our God is mighty. Our God is Uncontainable. Our God makes blind men see and raises the dead. He made mountains and moved them around to create the earth.  He is mighty! Sweet sister he is big enough to accomplish whatever he is calling you to without you, but he loves you so much he invites you to do it with him. Stop limiting him and start dreaming with him.

Whatever it is, it's not bigger than the God calling you to it. But you must invite him into your life.  You must.  You cannot go forward without him, he must be a part of this plan. So today, I wrote them all down and I prayed. I prayed that I would honor him with these dreams. I prayed that I would not go before him. I prayed that I would be diligent in my ways to seek the kingdom with these gifts.

Today I pray that whatever it is that seems so huge that God is calling you to do that you will ask him to lead the way.  Whatever it is. Maybe it's going back to school, maybe its seminary, maybe it's a total career change, maybe it's staying home and homeschooling. Whatever that BIG scary thing is, I pray you will seek God with it.  That you will do it with him.  I am praying that you are brave enough to step out and do really big uncomfortable things for the glory of God.  I pray that for myself.

He made us, he pursues us, he longs to give us the desires of our hearts, you dear girl are FEARFULLY & WONDERFULLY made in his loving image. He can and will do immeasurably more than you can ever imagine.

Go with God this year.  Write those dreams down and chase after them with a HOLY passion! I'm right here with you, shaking in my cowgirl boots!

Much Love,
Chrystan

PS- Want more on CALLING?  Join us over at Imperfectly Brave this year as we study CALLING!  Register for this free program HERE.

Let Forgiveness Reign This Holiday Season

Merry Christmas Friends, Family and faithful readers from Ferrell Farms!

This is going to be short and sweet today (well maybe not super short...). I have one thing tugging at my heart to share with you. One thing you may not want to hear. One thing that may leave you shaking your head and running for the next exit!

In this season of hope and joy it is time to let love reign and forgive.

As you step into that door, knowing that that family member that was so terrible to you last year is going to be there let me urge you to let forgiveness reign.  I know it's hard. I know it's impossible.  I know they hurt you to your core, but you can do it. Do you want to know why I can say with great confidence that you CAN forgive them even though it hurts to just think about it?  Because I did it, it was impossible, but with Christ forgiveness should flow out of us like water off a waterfall. Freely, with no just cause.

Someone in my life hurt me so badly this Fall (I am not vague-booking here, I am going to protect my family by not saying who. But know that it is not you. If you are thinking it is you, it is not you)  Anywhoo, this person hurt me both emotionally but also physically and mentally. She used forced on me and slayed me with her words in this most painful places.  She attacked all that I hold dear and it hurt me.  I found myself begging her to go, to leave, so that I would not also hurt her.  It was hard, it was just the hardest thing.

Since then we have had to coexist in spaces and I have had to bite my tongue.  Yes, this is possible, the online generation, the social media generation is not used to holding back the airing of all the dirty laundry. This is a lost art form, we should work on in 2016.

In Christ I am a new creation. As I have leaned into him through this he has shown me the ways he forgives me.  How he loves me in my ugliest places and I have been able, through prayer and reading scripture, to forgive her.  I have found ways to put my hurt away, to give grace and let God take over. That's the thing about grace, it is UNMERITED favor.  She doesn't deserve forgiveness, she hurt me very badly but I don't deserve forgiveness or grace either.  Grace is not earned it is given, freely, unmerited.  So, thank you God for this grace you gave me. Thank you for showing me how to truly forgive, even when someone is not seeking forgiveness.

May I say again, without Christ this is foreign and impossible.  Maybe it even seems ridiculous.  How could I forgive her after all she did?  Absolutely, it is impossible and I felt like it was impossible. Until I invited God into the problem and realized nothing is impossible in him. He is all about making the impossible come to fruition, that brings him GREAT Glory, and isn't that my goal...

Do it.  Forgive.  Let God do the impossible in you today.  You may have to work really hard at it.  It's not easy, but so worth it.  So WORTH IT!  I am not best friends with her.  I will keep a safe distance right now. But forgiveness has freed me, glorified my God and made me understand his love for me even more.My prayer is that she will see Christ in me and seek him.  That others will hear this story and be changed for the glory of God is the goal.

Hope. Love. Forgiveness. These things are found at the foot of the cross.  If you haven't gone there, may I suggest today seeking forgiveness in Christ so you can also be free.

May your eyes be on him this Christmas.

Much Love,
Chrystan

PS- Forgiveness also applies to yourself. God will forgive you maybe already has, you should also forgive yourself.